


RGB  Paranoid: A  Beginning

by Psi_Fi, spookyawards_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Humor, Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-06-07
Updated: 2004-06-07
Packaged: 2019-04-27 18:44:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14431803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psi_Fi/pseuds/Psi_Fi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyawards_archivist/pseuds/spookyawards_archivist
Summary: Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived atSpooky Awards, and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address onSpookyAwards' collection profile.





	RGB  Paranoid: A  Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Spooky Awards](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Spooky_Awards), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [SpookyAwards' collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/spookyawards/profile).

RGB Paranoid: A begining 

Scene: interior day. A mall 

"Red blue green, they're in on it too." Valeria mutters. "Is everyone in on this?" 

Across the room three figures stand watching. Frohike turns to his companions and asks, "What is that nutcase going on about?" 

"Like you have room to talk." Langly looks down at him and replies. 

"Why don't we just go over, and ask her?" Byers sensibly suggests already walking away to do that. "Excuse me, miss, they're part of what?" 

"I can't tell you here. They're part of the conspiracy, and will over hear me." Valeria responds in a half whisper. 

"Who will hear you?" Frohike asks. 

"I can't tell you that. If I say out loud, then they'll know I know who they are." Valeria hisses in a panic. 

"Can you at least tell us who you are?" Byers asks gently. 

"Not here...." Valeria starts. 

"Let me guess THEY'LL find out if you tell us here," Langly snidely replies. 

"I know a place where we can talk without "them" hearing us." Byers tries to soothe her shooting Langly a dirty look. 

"Well okay, but loose the tail first." Valeria responds pointing to an obvious Consortium flunky. 

"How did you?" Frohike starts to ask untill he sees her moving away into the crowd. The lone group of three start weaving their way through the crowd to eventually duck out a side exit. As Frohike is getting through the door he sees someone grab the front of Langly's shirt. 

"What took you so long? By the way nice shirt, I thought those guys went out with the eighties." Valeria remarks looking Langly up and down. 

"Who are you to talk?" Langly demands. 

"More importantly, who are you?" Byers asks once again. 

"Let's get to that someplace safe first. Who are you guys, there's practically the twin to the first guy you ditched over there." Valeria inquires pointing to someone in the exact same attire down to the sunglasses as the first one she pointed out. "Someone out there wants desperately to keep an eye on you." 

"Thank you, Frohike here wasn't paranoid enough before you pointed that out," Langly sneers half to Frohike. 

"Yeah Langly, if they're gonna have my name, I'm gonna make damn sure they have your name too." Frohike retorts. 

"Watch the language Frohike, there's a lady here. My name is Byers. We are part of an organization... sort of." Byers tries to explain. 

"What he means is we're sort of organized." Langly jokes. 

"Can we get out of the street?" Frohike grumbles. "I feel to exposed out here." 

"We told you to stop exposing yourself." Langly quips. 

"I like you guys, so I'll trust you with the name I'm using now. It's Valeria." 

"Valeria what?" Byers asks. 

"Just Valeria. A lady, I've never been called a lady before." She replies. 

"I'll make you feel like a lady." Frohike says wiggling his eyebrows. Byers elbows him in the ribs. 

"Shall we go, my lady?" Byers asks offering his arm. 

"I'd be delighted." Valeria responds taking the offered arm. 

Scene: interior later day. Lone Gunman Publicatins. 

"So just what is this conspiracy?" Langly asks the second they get in the door. 

"Red light, blue wall, green wire type stuff. Hey you guys are in on it too!" Valeria declares. "You all are, and you," she points to Byers. "Are kinda cute." 

"Oh yeah," Frohike sidles up next to her and asks. "What about me?" 

"You?" She looks thoughtfull. "Not so much so." 

"Anyway, what is the significance of red, blue, green?" Byers asks looking mildly embarrassed. 

"Well for one thing I found a bug near the base of our red light bulb," Langly starts holding a tiny transmitting device. "Another at the bottom of our bucket of blue paint," He contines holding another much like the first only blue. "and a third in the middle of our green wire spool." He finishes holding up a third. 

"Those must have been there since we bought those things." Frohike realizes. "No wonder the sales man pushed the color blue on us. He saw we had the red light for the dark room door, and the green wire for Langly's mad inventions. With the device from the paint can they not only can hear every word we say, but also get a fix on where the transmissions are coming from." 

"I never knew why. That may be the answer." Valeria says in surprise. "One day I just noticed a.. shall we say over abudance of sets of three being colored red, blue and green. I didn't know why so I decided there was a conspiracy. If what you found is an indication of it, then they know I know." 

"Or these could be a coincidence, and your just crazy." Langly rebuts. 

"Well if you find me floating face down in a river somewhere, then you'll know I'm right." Valeria calmly explains, then under her breath. "And so will I." 

"What? You mean you don't really believe in your own conspiracy theory?" Byers asks amazed. 

"You have to admit it is a bit farfetched." Valeria ashamedly admits. 

"Then what was that back in the store?" Langly demands. "You said you couldn't say who because they would hear you. What did you mean by that?" 

"Well it sounded better than I don't know." Valeria explains. 

"She's right," Frohike agrees. "We should try that line on Mulder next time we see him." 

"This isn't a joke," Byers replies. 

"No it's a prank," Langly says in disgust. "That she played on us." 

"But you found the evidence!" Byers points out. "Valeria said she wasn't sure if the conspiracy was real or not. What you have proves it. I think we should tell Mulder about this." 

"And his babe of a partner Scully." Frohike puts in. 

"Wait, you want to tell my paranoid ramblings to someone else?" Valeria asks edging to the door. "They'll either think I'm crazy, or be part of..... Do whatever you like, but wait till I'm gone. Oh and leave my name out, I happen to like this one. I'd like to keep it for a while longer." 

"Agent Mulder would like you," Langly replies watching her edge away. "You're more paranoid than he is." 

"Agent? He's an agent?" Valeria demands. "What kind?" 

"That's enough Langly. Mulder and Scully are with the FBI, but don't worry they're cool." Byers tries to calm her. 

"Yeah, and three minutes ago the red, blue, green conspiracy was a crock." Valeria retorts. 

"Just let her go," Langly sneers. "We don't need another Modeski incident." 

"Our Byers has a penchant for finding damsels in distress," Frohike explains. 

"The cute ones always do." Valeria flips back. 

"Then you'll like Mulder," Byers says to convince her. "Except for Scully it seems every woman he's known was either in distress or trying to kill him." 

"That or spying on him," Langly adds. "How do we know you're not spying on him." 

"Because I know everyone that's spying on me." Mulder explains walking in the door followed by the enigmatic Dr. Scully. 

"Yeah well we know too," Frohike interjects. "But we can't say, because we don't want them to know we know." 

"In other words, you don't know." Scully clarifies. 

"I still think it sounds better," Valeria defends her phrase. 

"True, who might you be?" Mulder wonders. "Only a very few have seen the sanctum of the Lone Gunman." 

"Only the hottest of babes." Frohike says right next to Scully who gives him The Look. 

"She's the one who tipped us off to these," Byers holds out the listening devices. "In the most unlikely fashion. Ms. Valeria noticed something strange, and came up with a conspiracy theory about it." 

"Yeah? What might that be?" Mulder asks, quirking his eyebrow. 

"Get this: the red, blue, green conspiracy," Langly sneers. 

"You're just mad 'cause you didn't think of it first," Frohike responds. 

"What about red, blue, green?" Scully asks. 

"And what's with Langly today?" Mulder adds. 

"She's not to sure, and if you had to listen to as much of Frohike's inane ramblings as I have today, you'd be in a foul mood too," Langly growls. 

"I noticed video games that had three main colors were always red, blue, and green," Valeria starts to explain. 

"Those are the color of the picture tubes in televisions" Scully explains. 

"I know that now, but why? Why not all primary colors? Then there are the rest of them," Valeria finishes. 

"Rest of them?" Mulder asks, raising both eyebrows. 

"Well," Byers replies, pointing to the appropriate device as he talks. "This is from our red light, this one from our can of blue paint, and the last one from the spool of green wire." 

"It's everywhere. Groups of red, blue, and green. You would think they'd be red, blue, and yellow, those being the primary colors, but it's not. It's green." Valeria adds. 

"That doesn't make it a conspiracy," Scully reasons. 

"Or if it is, it's a very badly hidden one," Mulder adds. 

"Something this far-fetched is best hidden out in the open," Frohike explains. 

"How did you find out about it?" Scully questions. 

"I get bored a lot," Valeria replies, causing Mulder to chuckle. 

"Isn't that how you get most of your ideas, Frohike?" Langly asks. 

"At least I have original ideas you Woodstock throwback reject." Frohike responds. 

"Be polite you two, you have a guest," Mulder laughingly scolds. 

"They've been like this all morning," Byers moans. 

"Well, now I need you guys," Mulder says. 

"Sorry, she needed us first," Byers replies. 

"Byers, have you found another Modeski?" Mulder asks. 

"Who's Modeski?" Valeria wonders. 

"Someone else who needed help exposing a conspiracy," Byers explains. 

"And thought Byers was cute," Frohike adds. 

"I didn't say I wanted help, or to expose this conspiracy. I just thought you guys could hear my theory without calling for the men with the jackets that fasten in the back," Valeria explains. 

"I just need a minute," Mulder informs them. "A Mr. Morton contacted me saying he had a file I might be interested in. All I want to know is if you've heard of him." 

"Martin Buelre, he watched to much School House Rock as a kid," Langly informs him. 

"What does he have?" Byers asks him. 

"He would only say something that would interest me," Mulder replies. "And that he wanted four thousand, one hundred, and ten dollars for it." 

"That could be anything from the latest edition of the Magic Bullet to a copy of Penthouse. Buelre has a weird sense of humor." Frohike says. 

"We'll look into it as soon as we can," Byers promises. 

"I'd appreciate it," Mulder says. He and Scully turn to leave. 

"Next you'll be telling me Barney's part of a conspiracy," Scully remarks over her shoulder. 

"He's the embodiment of the red, blue, green conspiracy," Valeria assures her. 

"But he's purple," Scully spins to explain with an incredulous look on her face. 

"With green spots. Purple is a combination of red and blue, that's how they tried to hide it," Valeria calmly explains. 

"See," Mulder responds over his shoulder. "I told you Barney was evil." With that remark the agents leave. 

"So whoever is in charge does occasionally try to hide it," Byers deduces. 

"Well, we'll certainly keep this in mind, young lady," Frohike assures her, trying not leer too openly. "We'll investigate and if you come up with anything else, just give us a buzz. You can call me anytime," he oozes. Byers silently hands her a business card with their phone number. 

"All right, all right already. She knows how to contact us. We have real work to do... for someone we actually trust. If you don't mind, lady, we need to say bye-bye." 

"Prozac," she suggests. 

Waving good-bye to the less grumpy editors of the Magic Bullet, Valeria ambulates to the door and peers into the street. Seeing no suspicious eyeware, she leaves. A block down, she stops for a red light. While she waits for the light to turn green, a purple sedan screeches to a stop in front of her. The passenger door opens and a beautiful man with green eyes reaches out and pulls her into the vehicle. 

"Ack," comes her shocked, involuntary response. 

"Bill the Cat moment?" he asks cooly. 

"I panicked," she defends. "Oh wait, shouldn't I be trying to escape?" 

The man shrugs, as the sedan pulls away to an unknown destination. "I wouldn't bother." 

"I'm new at this. I don't know." 

The stranger looks both puzzled and amused, looking down with a smothered chuckle. _The Consortium wants her dead?_ he muses to himself. 

Valeria looks into his green eyes, seeing a darkness that disturbs her. "OH, shit. If you're going to kill me, just don't shoot me in the back of the head. That's cowardly, I hate that!" 

He stares at her in open shock. "WHAT?!?" he blusters, a cute little crinkle forming above his pert little nose. 

"Well, I believe, if your going to shot somebody, you should look them in the eyes or not shot them at all." 

"Right. If we all followed Emily Post, we wouldn't shoot anyone, lady." 

"I think it's more common courtesy than manners," she objects. "Speaking of manners, I'm Valeria, which I'm hoping you know, and you are?" 

"Someone who hates his job very much at this moment." 

"That's a very long name," she mulls. 

He sighs. "Krycek." 

"Oh, that's much easier to say." 

Krycek shakes his head, wondering how such a flighty woman could possibly pose a threat to the old men and their plans. "Are you always this much of an airhead, or do you have to work at it?" Krycek is unable to resist asking. 

"Only when I'm trying to convince gorgeous green eyed men not to kill me," she purrs, reaching forward to brush a lock of hair from his forehead. "Sorry, I have no impulse control." 

Krycek shakes his head, trying to put his thoughts in order. Seeing his dazed expression, Valeria reaches over and places a soft kiss on his curved lips. 

"See?" she offers, looking into his eyes. 

Krycek pulls back, wondering what he should do or say. She knows she could die, but might still panic if he openly admits it. He wonders how much of her absurdity is an act. 

"So, where are we going, Green-eyes? And don't drown me. I have a terrible fear of drowning." 

"I'm not going to kill you. I was ordered by some men I work for to bring you in for questioning." 

"I hope it's not history, I hate history. I'm not too good at math either." 

Krycek rubs his forehead, fairly certain that he should just keep quiet. Before he can formulate a response, the driver pulls into the parking garage of a tall office building. Having parked in a reserved space, he pulls a gun, and steps out of the sedan. 

"Should I try to escape now?" she asks Krycek. 

"Um, no. The driver is out here with a loaded gun ready to shoot you if you try." 

"Oh, it's just in every TV show I've seen, this is where they try to escape. But, then again, you're much to cute to knee in the groin." 

"Thanks," Krycek acknowldges dryly. "Believe me, television gets it very wrong." 

The driver opens the door, and pulls her out, discomfitted by her flirting and Krycek's acceptance of her ramblings. He decides that Krycek cannot be trusted with the prisoner, given his checkered past. Valeria leans over to whisper one last comment to Green-eyes. 

"Him I'd knee in a heartbeat," she points out. 

Krycek just shrugs, unable to blame her. Valeria marches brokenly beside the driver, occasionally stumbling, sometimes on purpose, sometimes on accident. Before long, she and her escort are standing before a solid wood door. The driver knocks respectfully. 

"Come in," a thin voice calls out commandingly. 

Valeria is dragged inside. Behind the desk is a withered old man. His hair is an iron gray that makes his complexion seem like chalk. He is neatly groomed, except for the cigarette hanging like carrion from his lips. 

"Okay, fine, shoot me in the back of the head! just don't kill me with cancer!" _Or the stench!_ she thinks to herself. The smoker smiles with grim, disdainful amusement. 

"Who told you I was going to kill you?" he asks with brittle benevolence. 

"You're going to sell me life insurance?" she asks, seemingly confused. 

"No. I'm going to ask you some questions. I hope you'll do me the courtesy of answering honestly and completely." 

"Damn, I never was too good at tests," she sighs. 

"Really? I hope the questions don't prove too difficult for you," he responds with barely concealed contempt, a threat in his oily voice. 

"Can you have the other guy ask me? I liked him better." 

"Krycek?" the smoker asks, amused by her naivete. 

"Yeah, Green-eyes," she smirks, lasciviously. 

The Smoker, who has never bothered to notice the eye color of his most troublesome employee, decides not to comment. He makes a note to himself to remind Alex of the dangers of sympathizing with the enemy. 

"What were you doing at the Lone Gunmen's?" 

"How could they be lone men?" she asks innocently. 

"I believe it is an expression, if not too clever of them. Why were you there?" 

"Where?" 

"If you cooperate, you might live through this. If not, I will be forced to kill you." 

She decides not to bring up free will, and the fact that no one is forced to do anything. 

"I will ask again. Why were you speaking with the Lone Gunmen?" 

"I didn't know that's who they were. I just thought the one in the suit was really cute," she sulks, then brightens. "Of course, Green-eyes is cuter." 

"Nevertheless, you did speak to them briefly about a conspiracy theory you had developed." 

"Yeah, they were really nice about it. They didn't call me a fruitcake or anything." 

"So, you've no proof that such a conspiracy exists?" 

"Shoot, except for three colors, I don't really have a conspiracy. I just know Disney is in it up to his Mickey Mouse ears." "Who else have you discussed this theory with?" 

"Hazel-eyes." 

The Smoker pauses on puffing his cigarette, somehow knowing that she is referring to Mulder. 

"And did he believe you?" 

"Well he knows Barney is evil." 

"I see," the smoker grates, becoming convinced that she is a threat. "And why does this conspiracy interest you? What could you prove by revealing it?" 

"Well, it will either prove that any one can find a conspiracy anywhere if they look hard enough, or that all conspiracies are true," she reasons. 

The Smoker nods, deciding it will be best if she is killed quietly, before her curiosity reveals any more important secrets to the wrong eyes. 

"Very well. Mr. Margolis, please escort the young lady downstairs." 

Margolis nods, sharply, not needing to hear the rest of his orders. He grabs her arm, and pulls her roughly towards the door. 

"Like I told Green-eyes," she reminds him sharply, "not in the back of the head." 

"Shut up," he snarls, tired of her voice. 

Valeria resists the urge to stomp his foot, since the action would be both juvenille and pointless. Margolis drags her to the elevator. When the elevator reaches the ground level, it stops. Margolis glares in surprise at the doors. They open to reveal Krycek, who knocks Margolis out with a sharp blow from his prosthetic. 

"My knight in shining leather," she simpers jokingly. 

Krycek sighs, beckoning her out of the elevator. "Come on." 

Valeria hooks her arm through his, as if he were her escort at a dance. Krycek leads her to a dark blue Ford Taurus (the government vehicle of choice) and gets her settled in the passenger's seat. He gets in and pulls out of the building. 

"So where are we going?" 

"Canada." 

"Cool. Road trip!" 

Krycek looks at her askance. "Where we're going is thousands of miles away. We are _not_ driving." 

"As long as we don't take the bus. I once got stuck on a bus with this biker dude, who just would not shut up..." 

"We're flying," Krycek interrupts hastily. 

"Window seat!" she claims, kissing him on the check. 

"Uh, sure." 

"I know a guy at TWA who can sneak us on a flight! There will be no record that we were there!" 

"I thought you were new at this?" 

"That was being caught. You run away well enough, you never get caught." 

"Uh huh. Your friend work at Dulles?" 

"No, JFK. My friend thinks if he works there long enough he can figure out who really shot him." _He's a sweety, but he's not all there._ she adds to herself. 

"JFK is in New York. I'm not driving to New York just to catch a plane. I can get us on a flight without being traced." 

"I always get my airports confused. I know the manager at Dulles!" 

Krycek sighs, trying not to lose patience. "Look, don't worry about it. I'll take care of things." 

"But, if we use his prop job, we could land anywhere we wanted!" 

"NO!" Krycek insists, feeling deeply alarmed. "That's okay. I have standing arrangements. We'll be fine." 

"Okay, but it'd be better if we sat!" she giggles. 

Krycek allows himself a small chuckle, relieved by her capitulation. 

"We have to stop before we get on the plane, though," she insists. "He gets insulted if I go through there and don't at least say hi!" 

Krycek just nods, willing to concede that small point to her. 

"Wake me when we get there, I've been up since Thursday." 

Krycek doesn't answer, just continues driving. Ten minutes later, he parks at the airport and gently shakes her shoulder. 

"MoonBlaster must speed. It usually only takes him five minutes," she murmurs. 

"I didn't want to draw attention by speeding." 

"He doesn't with the lights and siren going." 

"C'mon. Let's go say hi to this friend of yours, so we can get out of here." 

"This way," she urges, while prancing off. She leads the way to one of the back doors to the offices, and knocks lightly before barging in. "Wingman, just passing through. Got a guy with connections with me." Valeria greets the portly man with a peck on the check. 

Krycek nods, tightly, uneasy with meeting someone, who could in the future compromise him. 

"So that's why you haven't come to see me! You've found a younger man!" 

"You know you're the only skyboy for me!" she assures him, tousling his thinning hair. 

"So, where are we going today?" 

"Green-eyes here wants to take one of the commercial jets," she sighs, sounding put upon. 

"Next time your in DC, we'll fly to Tahiti," her friend assures her. 

Krycek rolls his eyes, wondering how she manages to convince so many people to pander to her whims and needs. He checks his watch, knowing that by now, the Smoker will have realized that she has escaped. 

"Wingman, we kinda need to board the plane without going through the terminal." 

"No problem. You know which flight you need?" 

"Green-eyes does." Wingman looks at Krycek, unsure how to address the leather-clad badass his young friend has gotten involved with. Krycek refrains from rolling his eyes or yelling "boo" at the nervous older man. 

"We need the quickest flight to..." 

"NO. Don't tell me. It's best I don't know exactly where you're going." 

Krycek gives Valeria a highly irritated look. 

"Which is why I asked her to let me handle this. Are you done saying hello?" 

"She still hasn't learned to listen has she?" Wingman observes, sadly. "I've got to step out, the flight list is on my desk." 

Krycek sighs, nodding his silent agreement. "Look, just get us tickets, and quietly to the gate. Any other favors would draw unnecessary attention to us. I want to be as discreet as possible." 

"Which is why we should have taken the prop job." Krycek decides to be nice, and not point out that he wouldn't trust someone so distracted to fly an airplane. "What if I promise not to do any barrel roles, or loop-the-loops?" she pleads. 

"No. We'll take the commercial flight," Krycek orders. 

Valeria reaches into a desk drawer, pulling out a baseball cap, and a pair of sunglasses. She tucks her hair under the cap, and slides on the sunglasses, before donning a bomber jacket that was hanging on the back of the chair. 

"I leave these here for days, when I'm particularly paranoid." Wingman leads them to their gate, giving Valeria a kiss on the cheek, before going back to work. Krycek draws Valeria to a chair, hoping she will be relatively quiet, until they can board. She pulls a pad of paper out of her pocket, and writes telling him to remember that untill they land, and leave the airport, that she is mute. Krycek hides his relief, nodding. She playfully slaps his arm, and writes that he needn't look so happy about it. Krycek just looks innocent. 

They both sleep through the flight. Leaving the airport after landing, Krycek hails a cab, directing the driver to an apartment building in downtown Vancouver. Once there, Krycek pays the man with Canadian money. 

"Handy that you managed to have some monoply money on you," she jokes. 

"Yep. C'mon," he urges. 

"Y'know, you're always coming on to me." 

Krycek gives her an incredulous look, then chuckles, realizing what she means. "Sorry about that." 

He guides her to an elevator, and they travel up a few flights. He walks to one of the doors, and knocks, demandingly. At first, there is no answer, so he knocks again. When no one comes to the door, Krycek draws out a lockpick. The door opens to reveal a double for Krycek holding a Glock on them. Krycek grins. "Hey Vic. That's no way to greet family." 

"Sometimes, I think it's the only way to greet _our_ family," the man responds. 

"You've got family?" she asks surprised. "I'd think they'd only get in the way of running." 

Krycek frowns. "What? You thought I was hatched?" he huffs, angry. 

"Sorry, I forgot other people have families," she soothes. _That aren't trying to kill them that is._ She adds to herself. 

Vic comes forward, having holstered his gun, and pulls Krycek into a brotherly hug, though they are actually first cousins. "Who's the girl?" he asks, puzzled. 

"Well, I'm not a damsel in disdress. I'm wearing jeans," she quips. Vic gazes at her in amazement. 

"Her name is Valeria. The smoking man I told you about is trying to kill her." 

Vic frowns. "Why?" he asks, looking at Valeria for answers. 

"Does it matter? Green-eyes got me to Canada. I can take it from here." 

Krycek frowns, puzzled anew by her naivete. "You're not safe here. The man who tried to kill you has agents and power in every nation on Earth. You won't be safe just running away." 

"It's got me this far," she argues cheerfully. She reaches over and kisses him on the lips. "You're very sweet Green-eyes." Vic tries not to laugh. 

"You're far from safe. He _will_ hunt you down, and try to kill you. You need help. He's not just some government flunky." 

"I know, I know, you can't run away forever, but there is _nothing_ wrong with getting a good head start, and the longer I stay here, the shorter that head start gets. Besides, they're looking for a chatty woman, not a mute man!" she points out in premature triumph. 

Krycek openly rolls his eyes, disgusted by her lack of common sense. "You don't get it do you? These men are _professionals!_ They're not going to be fooled by a thin disguise like that! It's a matter of hours before they learn where you are, if they don't know already. You can't run far or fast enough to escape them. Try it and I promise you will die! However, Vic works for an agency that has the power to protect you." 

"Just what is the name of this agency?" she asks, suspiciously. 

"The Agency," Vic answers, amused. 

"And what's your boss's name?" 

"The Director." 

"So, I'm supposed to blindly trust a place that even the employees don't know it's name, or the names of the people at the top? Have a nice life, see ya on the flip side." 

"No," Krycek growls. "I'm not asking you to trust anyone. I'm just saying that they can save your life. I don't know anyone else who can. But, hey, it's your life, lady." 

"You're cute when you growl. Can you tell me _anything_ about this agency?" 

"Our goals are to bring down criminals who are to powerful, protected, or unique for regular law enforcement," Vic explains. 

"You sound like you're reciting," she observes. 

Vic shrugs.. "That's how the Director puts it. Basically, we break bad guys." 

"My people may not be affiliated with anything, but I've known them for years, and I trust them." 

"You don't have any people, just a ragtag group of friends." 

"Yeah, my people, the forgotten ones, the ones who have slipped through the cracks. The ones whose names I _know_." 

"Really? I haven't heard any names so far, just a bunch of weird nicknames." 

"You don't get their names, until they get your name, and I'm not telling them that until you say it is okay." 

"Since Cancerman has files on _everyone,_ he already has their names. They can't protect you, you'll just be endangering their lives, too, or further, whichever the case may be." 

"Good point. Better strangers than friends. On to this Agency!" she agrees, finally. 

"Um, it's after midnight. You'll be safe here for the night. I suggest we all get some sleep, and go in tomorrow," Vic suggests, practically. 

"Oh, yeah. I forget other people sleep." Vic wishes them a good night, going back to bed, while Krycek lays down on the sofa to sleep. Valeria goes into the kitchen, where the light won't bother Krycek, and sits at the table to write some letters. She writes to Wingman, asking him to warn the Lone Gunmen that the Smoking man is on to them. She then writes a series of letters to her various friends, asking them to clam up about the red, blue, green conspiracy. When she is finished, she stacks them outside the door, knowing that a friend of hers who lives in the building will pick them up, and get them to their destinations. 

Neither Krycek or Vic notices her nightly activity. They eat a quick breakfast and then bundle her into Vic's truck, driving straight for the Agency. Vic leads them through the empty hallways to the briefing room, where they can meet with the Director. 

"At least we can see if anyone is coming," she remarks. "I hope you don't want to start an Agency softball team." 

Vic sighs, nodding. "Believe me, I know." He opens the doors to find Mac and LiAnn, sitting at the table, with the Director standing calmly in front of them. Seeing her most trusted agent entering with his cousin, and a young lady, the Director pulls a gun. 

"I have orders from a Cigarrette Smoking Bastard to shoot you two on sight. However," she continues, "I hate taking orders to kill someone that I have no interest in seeing dead. Especially from my enemies. Really, Vic, I thought I had been clear about not wanting civillians brought here." 

Vic shrugs. "She needs protection, and I wanted you to meet her." 

"Don't worry, lady, I didn't want to come here, either." 

The Director examines them, taking an inordinate interest in Krycek. "Very well. What is her story, Victor?" 

"The Smoker tried to assassinate her. She has a conspiracy theory about the grouping of the colors red, blue, and green." 

"Oh, yes. The red, blue, green conspiracy. I never did like that one. It's so infantile. What is your name, young lady?" 

"Valore," she offers, challengingly, wondering if Krycek will contradict her. Krycek remains silent, swallowing a smile. 

"Fly away?" the Director asks, amused. "What an interesting alias. And I finally get to met the notorious Alex Krycek." Krycek nods, not deigning to reply. 

"Oh, all right, Victor. I know you just can't resist playing the knight in shining armor. Besides, protecting her will piss off the Smoking Man." The door opens, and Nathan the librarian comes in with a cart of files for the director. 

"Jep!" Valeria calls, rushing over to give him a big hug. 

"Val!" he greets, surprised. He stares over her shoulder, and freezes. There stands Vic and a double of him. He hadn't realized that the upper eschelon were capable of reproducing themselves... or that such a banality as multiple births could happen to them. The Director is amused by the shock on the little man's face. 

"Nathan," she purrs. "Why don't you take Valore and her friends to the library and help them research the red, blue, green conspiracy?" 

Vic swallows a groan, uneasy with spending large amounts of time with the paranoid librarian. The man either fawns, or acts like he expects Vic to beat on him. He leads the way out into the hall, hoping Nathan will focus on Valeria. 

"Val," Nathan hisses, hoping Vic won't listen in on them. "How did you end up with Victor?" 

"Green-eyes brought me!" 

"But, he's one of them, too!" 

"Of course he is. They're cousins." 

Nathan shakes his head impatiently. "Val! Don't you see? Vic's the one I told you about! He's one of the secret leaders!" 

"Oh, one of those prince guys! I don't know if a cousin would automatically be one or not. Maybe he's a duke or something..." 

"Valeria, this is serious," Nathan rebukes, hurt. "Of course his double is a prince as well. They share the same DNA, which is what all social status is genuinely based on." 

"And what does that make me, Nate? He saved my life, and I don't know why. I don't think he likes me very much." 

"That could be very bad, Val. He either likes you more than he shows, or he has an important use for you. There must be some reason Krycek brought you to Victor. I think Vic is more powerful than he is." 

"Then why doesn't he know psycho lady's name?" 

"The Queen Alien? I think he does. He just doesn't tell out of courtesy, and so no one will suspect that he is really her equal." 

Valeria reaches over, and kisses him on the forehead. "I love you, Jep, but sometimes, you are just too much." 

Nathan shakes his head. "You'll see I'm right. There's more to Victor than meets the eye. Everyone underestimates him." 

"There probably is. If my cockamamie theory is right, then anything could be." 

"Oh, the red, blue, green conspiracy is well-documented by those in the know. I wish you had come to me with your theory. It's never wise to gain the human dragon's attention." 

"Where were you yesterday, when I needed to be reminded of that?" 

"I was here. You were in DC." 

"Oh, sure, use the couple of thousand miles excuse!" Nathan just grins, holding open the library door for her. Victor stands just inside, waiting for the stragglers to catch up. "You waited for us!" she exclaims. "How sweet!" 

"You could get lost in this place. Where now, Nathan?" 

"Um, why don't you three sit down, and I'll bring out the relevant files?" he asks Victor, timidly. 

"Why don't I help you, Jep?" Val offers. 

"Oh, sure." Nathan leads her through the stacks to the back, where he keeps the labryrinth of filing cabinets. 

"Um, Jep. This is a secret government agency, and you've said Victor is a powerful figure in a world-wide conspiracy. Should I be heading for the back door?" 

"Oh, no. Nobody can protect you better than Victor. He's not evil. In fact, the Cancerdragon is the agency's foremost enemy. The Queen Alien doesn't like people who rival her for power. The agency's goals are benevolent, it's just _her_ you shouldn't trust. Victor certianly doesn't." 

"What's worse? Being dead, or a pawn in a game where I don't know the rules?" 

"Being dead. Victor may use you, but it will be for the forces of good. I don't know what Krycek's goals are. He _used_ to be devoted to the Smoker. 'Till he tried to kill Krycek." 

"Lucky for me, he didn't succeed!" 

Nathan nods. "His connection to Vic explains that." 

"Or, I could be reading to much into this, an he just wanted to knock the guy out." 

"That could be, if the assassin was his enemy." 

"I should have gone to Tahiti with Wingman," she mourns. 

Nathan shakes his head. "No, you're better off with Vic." Nathan finishes gathering the files, and leads her back to Vic, and Krycek. The cousins are chatting amiably, barely noticing that the two are gone. 

"Did you miss me?" she asks pleasently, going over to Vic, and kissing him on the forehead. "You look like you need kissed more often." 

"Um, sure." 

"No impulse control," Krycek explains, sotto voce. 

"And good ears, so how was your little reunion?" Valeria inquires ruffling Krycek's hair. 

Krycek ducks his head, and responds, "You didn't have to prove it. I think he believed me." 

Chuckling Victor informs them, "I believed you, and I'm glad I met her. Miss you are the only person I know who can disturb my always cool cousin. I don't think he got this flustered when the Smoking Bastard tried to blow him up." 

"How could any one want to blow up Green-eyes?" Valeria wonders. 

"The same reason we were both to be shot on sight," Krycek reminds her. "I refuse to kill just because I'm ordered to." 

Vic has started flipping through the files. "Nathan are you sure we need all of these?" 

"Oh yes they're the only ones with red, blue, or green tags," Nathan explains. 

"I always knew you had a weird sense of humor, Jep." Valeria giggles. 

"I didn't know he had a sense of humor," Vic whispers to Krycek. 

"Well, if you knew him better you would." Valeria retorts. 

Nathan whispers to her, "Please, I think I'd rather not know him any better." 

Giggling, Valeria picks up a red coded file. "Aha!" She exclaims. "Here's a list of everyone in the entertainment business that's also part of the conspiracy." 

"Red is entertainment, blue is industry/commerce, and green is..." Nathan starts to explain. 

"The thickest one of all." Vic interupts dropping the several inch thick folder onto the table, with a loud bang. 

Nathan winces and gives a small jump. "Government." He finishes like he was never interupted. "It's the largest, because there isn't a government in the world that doesn't at least know of it's existence." 

"Not even small tribes of African Zulus?" Valeria asks puzzled. 

"It's only an obscure superstition with them." Nathan clarifies. 

"No wonder I could never pin down what it is," Valeria mutters almost to herself. "It's not one thing. There are several plots, subplots, subplots to the subplots. It's enough to make a person go cross eyed." She exclaims crossing her eyes. 

"Are we in any of these?" Vic asks. 

"Those records are kept by Her Majesty herself. She likes to look at it when she needs a laugh." Nathan explains. He also thinks it's because it contains confidential material Vic should already know. Like the names of the upper eschilon. It had been pulled from the rest before he got them. 

Vic very casually hides a folder from the government file under the table. "What was that?" Krycek questions his cousin. 

"Uh, what?" Vic trys to look innocent. 

"The file that is now on the floor." Krycek clarifies. 

Valeria is holding a green tabbed file now, instead of the red one she had. "Nathan you miss labled this one. It should go back." 

Nathan gives her a hurt look till he catches the meaning of her look. "Right, I think that one needed a turquoise one. Silly me." He reaches for it, but Krycek grabs it first. 

"This file isn't miss labled." Krycek says deceptively calmly. "It's that Smoking Bastards file on my every move. He knew I was trapped in that silo, and he just left me there. He knew I was in Tungusca, and what was going to happen, and he let it." Valeria slips behind him, and starts rubbing his shoulders trying to comfort him. "Look at this," Krycek continues. "He knew I was a risk from the start. He actually wrote I most likely would turn on him, and question his orders." 

"Then why did he hire you?" Vic asks puzzled. 

"That's the worst part. He screwed up my life, tried to kill me, turned the only hope of stopping the invasion against me, and all because I fit in with his little conspiracy." 

"Hey, Jep, can you get the file on me?" She casually asks him. 

"Sure. I'll be right back." He replies, not surprised she asked for it. 

"Wait, we have a file on you?" Vic asks very confused. 

"How else do you think I keep track of who's chasing me?" She answers sensibly. 

Nathan returns with a rather thick file. "Here you go." 

"I had no idea I was that interesting." She mutters opening the file to the last few pages. ""Let's see who's still in the race. Damn, I thought he went back home. Wait. Who's this guy?" 

Nathan turns the page, and scans down. "You apparantly met him in a bar in Dallas. You were wearing a little black dress." 

"Wait, how little?" Vic wonders. 

Nathan produces a picture. "This little." He replies glancing back over at Val. Vic thinks he looks at her a little too long,and glares at him. 

"What kind of person starts following someone because of a dress?" Krycek wonders amazed. Vic shows him the picture. "Oh. You wore that out in public?" 

"I still do. I love that dress." Val informs him. 

"No wonder you have all these guys following you." Krycek chides. 

"Look, your not my father, or my big brother. You don't have to look out for me." Val defensively informs him. _Though I wish you'd want to._ She says to herself thinking of all the lonely nights that lie ahead. 

"Well someone has to." Krycek informs her. 

"Excuse me," Nathan interupts looking like he's afraid Krycek will bite his head off for doing so. "It says here you approached him at the bar, and asked him to dance." 

"Oh, yeah. He looked depressed, I thought a dance would cheer him up." Val explains. 

"It also says it was only one. After which you said _Thanks for the dance._ and left." Krycek reads from the sheet of paper over Nathan's shoulder. 

"Who's the General, and why is his name the only one on every page?" Vic asks looking up from the file. 

"My uncle? He's not going to give up till he has a body in his hands." Val flippantly replies. 

"Why would your uncle be trying to kill you?" Vic wonders. 

"Because I got a little too curious." She retorts looking at her file in his hands. "I overheard something I shouldn't have." 

"What?" Krycek demands. 

"If I tell you, I'll have to kill you." she mockingly informs him. Vic chuckles at the image of her trying to kill his much more experienced cousin. "Trust me, it's not so funny when the one who says it has a gun pointed at you." Vic sobers immeadiatly. "That's why your smoker doesn't scare me as much as you think he should. After a decade of staying one step ahead of a relative, outside threats don't seem so bad any more. I'm sorry I didn't mean to depress you. It's just frustrating knowing the biggest threat out there used to sing me to sleep." 

"Well you picked up a bigger threat." Krycek dryly informs her. "Who's C.S.M.?" Vic wonders still looking at her file. 

"I don't know. Must be someone new." Val responds looking at the list. 

"That's your bigger threat. Is his real name in there any where?" Krycek wonders looking over Nathan's shoulder, and making him very uncomfortable again. Krycek refrains from snapping at his nose. 

"If we do it's in another file." Nathan informs him wondering if he's going to lose his nose. At that moment the Director shows up. "A Mexican just showed up, that I'm sure you'd like to avoid." She calmly informs them. 

"SHIT!" Val exclaims, bolting through the library. Nathan notices a folded piece of paper, not so accidently, fall out of her pocket. He picks it up, and glancing at what's written on it, puts it in his pocket unopened. Everyone else has run after the obviously terrified fleeing figure. Val makes it out a side door, but not before Margolis catches sight of her. He takes up the chase as well. Val reaches Margolis's car, and to his surprise it starts up. She then in her blind panic steers the car into some near by woods. Nathan turns his head knowing what will happen next. The others watch horrified as the car smatches into a tree, and erupts into a ball of fire. Krycek tries to run to it, but Vic stops him. 

"It's better for her this way," Vic soothes, and is rewarded by Krycek trying to take his head off. 

From her hiding place in the woods, Valore sees the violent reaction Krycek has to what he thinks is her death. She almost runs back to him, wanting to erase the anguish she sees in his features. Her own parents didn't react with that much passion the first time she had done this. Now they act as if they never had a daughter. A single tear slides down her check for what she has to put her mysterious green eyed saviour through. _See ya around, Green-eyes._ She whispers to herself before running off through the woods, hoping the letter she had left him would be enough. Margolis gapes in amazement at what was his way out of there. _Smoking Man's gonna be pissed when he learns I lost the explosives._ He thinks. Then turns, and walks back into the building to call and inform him what has happened. The Director follows to keep an eye on him. When they are alone Nathan looks back at the flaming wreckage, and smiles. Krycek debates whether or not he should snap the man's neck when suddenly the timid man speaks. 

"I don't think she realizes it, but she wrecked a helicopter there once." 

Krycek stares at him amazed. "You let her?" He wonders amazed someone who claims to be her freind would let her do something that dangerous. 

"She never asked permission," He informs Krycek. "Besides I didn't know it was her, untill the fire was put out, and no body was found. I think this is for you." Nathan pulls out the note he had picked up earlier. On the front is simply the words _Green-eyes_. Krycek snatches the note, and reads it while his cousin peers curiosly over his shoulder. 

_I'm writing this while you sleep._ It reads. _You look like an angel. My guardian angel, ha ha._

"You do look rather angelic when you sleep." Vic observes. 

"And you look just like me." Krycek points out. Vic just looks down mildly embarresed. Krycek goes back to reading the note. 

_I know even now what I'm going to have to do eventually. I just wish there was some way to let you know about it before hand, but I don't think, scratch that I know you'll try to talk me out of it. You can't protect me forever, and I definitley can't hide at this Agency for the rest of my life. I wonder if it's the same one Jep works at? Never mind how could you know. Anyways, I just wanted you to know I've done this before. I even crashed a helicoptor once, so however I go out this time should be easy. Maybe we'll meet again one day, and you can give me a lecture on the dangers of crashing anything. I left a package at Vic's, could you make sure the Gunman get it? Please? Imagine me pouting here. Till we meet again in my next incarnation._ Then nothing but her signature. Valore. 

"Your still a pain in the ass!" Krycek yells in the general direction of the woods. Vic cups the back of his cousin's neck with his hand, and they walk back inside. 

From the woods Valore stops, turns toward the sound of Krycek's voice, smiles, and continues on. 

Scene: interior day. Two days after the crash. 

"Hey where did this come from?" Frohike wonders as he picks up a flat square wrapped in plain white paper. 

"I don't know," Langly replies taking it. "Let's open it. Maybe whatever's in here will cheer up Byers." 

"Unlike you, he actually liked that young lady." Frohike snaps at him. 

"I may not have liked her," Langly glares down at Frohike and replies, while unwrapping the small package. "But that doesn't mean I wished her dead." 

"Guys, please, I'm not in the mood for this," an obviously depressed Byers pleads as he walks into the room. 

"We got a mysterious package today," Frohike points to the now half unwrapped package. Langly tears off the rest of the paper to reveal a cd of The Ramones "Too Tough To Die". 

"I think I have this one." Langly comments opening it up. A slip of paper falls out. Frohike picks it up, and chuckles. Byers gives him a reproving look. 

"Listen to this," Frohike tells him as he starts to read the mysterious note. "I still think these guys went out with the eighties." At those words Byers brightens perceptively. "Tell Hazel-eyes I've lost the hounds for now at least." This brings a dry chuckle from Langly, that he tries to smother. "See you guys on the flip side. It's unsigned." 

"That's quite all right." Byers replies smiling again for the first time in two days. "I think we all know who it's from."   
  


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